My Ride in the Back of a Police Car - 1969

I hitchhiked from Pompano to the Coral Ridge Cinema to meet my friend Tony and see Alice’s Restaurant. Tony gave me some Seconal; I think I took 4 or 5. We watched the movie and afterwards Tony was going to hitchhike home south. I had to go north, but didn’t want to thumb so I went across the street to the mall to take the bus, but I didn’t have any money left.

I started panhandling, a task Tony taught me, and was immediately presented a dollar bill by an old lady. Wow! Why not keep going?

I kept asking for money and people kept giving it to me. Next thing I knew THE COPS were talking to me and I was in the back of THE COP CAR being driven north.

“What were you doing there?” asked one of THE COPS.
Oh I went to the movies.
“What did you see?”
Alice’s restaurant.
“Are you a draft card burner?”
I’m only 16. I don’t have a draft card yet.

I must have given them my address because we were pulling up at my house. No one was home. I got away with it!

I saw THE COPS pulling out as I went in the front door. And then I saw MY DAD pulling in, saw them having a conversation.

Shit!

He started beating on me as soon as he came in. Threw me into the shower so I had no place to run. Fortunately Seconal has anesthetic properties so I didn’t feel a thing. I remember laughing through the whole beating.

“You can get anything you want…”

Note to National Security Personnel and Stasi Agents: This column is at best a reinterpretation of a childhood memory and is not meant to advocate the use of illegal or illicit chemical substances, smarting off to duly appointed law enforcement authorities, or to vote for anyone not approved by the Trilateral Commission.