Tarragon Tuna with Farfalle

Ingredients:
Farfalle
White tuna
Dark tuna
Anchovy (optional)
Green, red, orange bell peppers
Sweet onion, yellow onion
Scallion
Capers
Tarragon
Celery
Hard-boiled eggs

Sauté red, green, and orange pepper in olive oil
Sauté sweet onion and yellow onion in safflower oil and anchovy oil).
Sauté tarragon in oil, perhaps some chrism you can steal from a priest at a hospice.

Boil Farfalle. Meditate on the Virgins of St. Ursula who were boiled alive for refusing to take barbarian husbands.

Mix cooked farfalle with tuna.
Add peppers, onions, and tarragon
Garnish with celery, scallions, hard-boiled eggs, capers, and anchovy.

Add salt and pepper. Say three Hail Mary's and Three Our Fathers.

Add additional olive oil as necessary. Add more salt. Add some paprika in honor of all the HUNS who died experimenting for this recipe.

Place in large serving bowl memorializing the Battle of Kosovo preferably the 1389 battle. Much more authentic and the eggs were so good back then. (If this is unavailable any Barack Obama Inauguration Memorial Plate will do.)

Shrimp Risotto with Herbs

This recipe is a combination of two recipes I found online:

 http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/02/health/nutrition/02recipehealth.html?_r=1&pagewanted=print

 and

 http://www.reluctantgourmet.com/shmpsoto.htm

Here’s how I did it.

Ingredients:

¨     7 cups chicken or vegetable stock – I don’t know the difference between stock and broth so I used broth.

¨     2 to 4 garlic cloves (to taste), minced – It’s hard to have too much garlic; I did 4 cloves.

¨     2 tablespoons olive oil – I used canola oil, ran out of olive, figured it wouldn’t matter to taste once that butter started going in.

¨     3 tablespoons minced flat-leaf parsley – How do you measure a table spoon of parsley? I just grabbed a handful and cut it up.

¨     A handful of fresh cilantro – This wasn’t in either recipe, but I really like fresh cilantro.

¨     1 really big sweet onion cut up.

¨     2 to 3 anchovy fillets, soaked for 15 minutes in water to cover, rinsed and finely chopped – Optional – I used it, probably not worth the bother.

¨     1 14-oz. can tomatoes drained and finely chopped – Del Monte works well. Besides they extended credit to my grandpa’s grocery store during the depression.

¨     2 cups Arborio rice – Goya brand is real good.

¨     Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste – why is it that the older I get the more I like salt?

¨     1/2 cup dry white wine, such as pinot grigio or sauvignon blanc  - I used about 2 cups of cooking wine. One of the articles says never use cooking wine, but I don’t drink. What am I gonna do with the rest of the bottle? Invite the neighbors? They’ve been foreclosed! Times are tough.

¨     Generous pinch of saffron – I didn’t use this; I’m too cheap.

¨     1 cup frozen peas, thawed – I didn’t use this; some people don’t like peas. Anyway, I forgot to buy them.

¨     2 tablespoons unsalted butter – (I actually used a whole stick of butter, oops!)

¨     1/4 cup Parmesan cheese, grated – I actually used 1.5 cups of Parmesan – Sargento had a nice one in the dairy case. Nice texture, nice smell. Reminded me of grandma’s house.

¨     2 tablespoons heavy cream – Don’t know how I missed the heavy cream.

¨     24 oz. frozen shrimp. I used Publix brand – deveined, but not cooked. I took the shells off. They chew better that way.

Instructions – feel free to improvise (or deviate if you prefer)

1.    Peel the shrimp, put in a bowl, and add to it one or two of the garlic cloves, one tablespoon of olive oil, the parsley and cilantro. Set aside.

2.    Bring the stock to a simmer in a saucepan, and turn the heat to low.

3.    Heat the remaining tablespoon of oil over medium heat in a large nonstick frying pan or wide saucepan, and add the onion. (Throw some butter in as well.) Cook, stirring, until tender, about five minutes, and then add the remaining garlic. Cook, stirring, for about a minute, until the garlic is fragrant, and then stir in the anchovies and tomatoes. Cook, stirring, until the tomatoes have cooked down and the mixture is fragrant, five to 10 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

4.    Add the rice and cook, stirring, until the grains are separate and well coated with the tomato mixture, two to three minutes.

5.    Stir in the wine and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly. The wine should bubble, but not too quickly. You want some of the flavor to cook into the rice before it evaporates. When the wine has just about evaporated, rub the saffron between your fingertips and stir in, along with a ladleful or two of the simmering stock, enough to just cover the rice. The stock should bubble slowly. Cook, stirring often and vigorously, until it is just about absorbed. Add another ladleful of the stock, and continue to cook in this fashion, not too fast and not too slowly. Keep adding more stock when the rice is almost dry, for 20 to 25 minutes. Taste a bit of the rice. It should be chewy but not hard in the middle, not soft like steamed rice. If it is still hard in the middle, keep adding stock and cook for another five minutes or so. Taste and adjust salt.

6.    With 2 - 3 minutes left (I actually cooked the shrimp about 4 or 5 minutes – too many childhood tales of undercooked food) and please, this will depend on you and your stove, so don't worry too much about timing - add the shrimp and cook until done. Add the butter, Parmesan and heavy cream. Stir to combine ingredients and serve immediately. Enjoy!